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Story- I wanted to


It was evening when I looked outside, the sky was clear, a light breeze was blowing, some children were playing cricket in the park. “You are out” someone screamed at the top of his lungs, must be Sudhir, he always screams like that when he doesn’t get batting for a long time.

“What are you thinking Mr. Daydreamer” Gaurav sir snapped at me in his heavy voice, Suddenly I left the park and came back to my small study room, where I was solving the trigonometric equation, “this is what you call concentration?” He again snarled at me, I was unable to answer, so I decided to let him speak, anyway, they all speak, nobody has to listen to me. He was still glaring at me, “Show me your copy” he said and then snatched it from my hands, “Answers of Three Questions are wrong” he said. But seven answers are correct too I thought, but didn’t utter a word !!


Suddenly mom entered the room with a cup of tea in her hands, Gaurav sir’s tone magically changed, he said “Satyam you are a bright child I know, but you lack concentration and practice, you are not working hard enough”, mom’s expressions became tightened, I can see the hint of disappointment on her face.


Anyways Gaurav sir left, and  I sat down with my head bowed on my study table and started thinking that in a while Tiwari sir would come to teach physics and till the evening he would go cricket match will be over.

Dinner was served at the dinner table at night, suddenly dad asked how are my preparations for board exams are going? I knew that the answer to this question will be given by him only, he is just asking me for formality, I said it’s fine.


He continued, Gaurav sir was saying you are not studying well, I sneaked at mom, I know that she told this to him, she didn’t look at me, I didn’t utter a word, I knew it’s of no use, they have already decided what they wanna say and believe, 
“Do you wanna spoil our family’s name and reputation ?!?” He grunted I didn’t speak, he went on “you know the amount I am spending on our studies, your schools, your extra tuitions?” And here u are goofing around” his voice became louder, “tell me if you don’t wanna study at all?” “You wanna become a vegetable seller or what? ” 


I sat there quietly with my head bowed, absorbing whatever words were thrown at me, after dad got up from the dining table, mom sat beside me and said “just tell me Satyam why do you do this son? , see how hurt he is, why do you do this? I didn’t say a word again, it’s of no use !!! 


Last year my cousin sister scored 94% in her board’s exam, from that day, dad and mom became participants in an unknown competition in which I was their horse on which they were betting, the stakes were high even the ambitions were but I was left behind, but who cares ??


The next day, dad said enough of wasting your time Satyam, from now there’s another maths teacher who will teach you after school and then Gaurav sir will also teach you maths but a different chapter, like this you can complete your syllabus in half of the time and will have ample time for revision !!! I just felt like screaming, like scream my lungs out, but I just said “ok” 

And today is the result day, the day for which I just feared the most Cbsenic. in the site keep collapsing, again and again, even the site can’t bear such amount of pressure, whatever !!! 

Mom was constantly praying, luring god for 1kg ladoos (sweet) in exchange for my good marks, sorry my bad for my 95% 

Finally, the site responded, I scored 89%, I think that God didn’t like the bargain !! I was happy because I worked hard for this, and I got what I deserved but the world around me was in a complete state of shock, the ground beneath my mum’s dad’s shook !!! Dad gave me a disgusted look, mom was sad !! Well, this is what I deserved for not getting into the 90’s line !!! Relatives keep calling, adding fuel to my dad’s anger and making my mom weep more and more.

 My house was looking like someone has died and everyone was mourning the loss !! My friends and teachers keep on congratulating me, but that means nothing to me now, I just wanted to see these two people happy !! But destiny has different plans !! My neighbors asked my dad to celebrate as their kid has scored a whopping 89% but dad told them “Satyam is sad, he didn’t want to celebrate “


I didn’t WANT TO???, does anyone care in this house, what I wanted,??, NO  because no one ever asked, what I wanted !! 


•>I wanted to play cricket for my school team, which you didn’t let me join.

•>I wanted to celebrate every festival with joy and without the guilt of wasting my “precious” time.

 •>I wanted to go to the picnic with my classmates which I didn’t go to, due to a silly test.

•>I just wanted to ask out my crush for an icecream date.

•>I just wanted to live a life of a normal teenager.

•>I didn’t want to join 2 classes for a single subject. 

>I didn’t want my friends to call me a ‘nerd’.

•>I didn’t want to lose my best friend because I couldn’t give him time.

•>I just wanted to be happy, which you didn’t let me to.

•>I just wanted that you people had appreciated my hard work.

•>I just wanted to listen “proud of you son” from you people instead of you are ashamed of me.

I  lost my friends, my cricket team, my crush, my self-esteem, my social life, my happiness because you were obsessed with some numbers !!!
I wish it some kind of story, where I can tell you people about my feelings, and you just realize your mistakes, and with tears in your eyes you would say “I am proud of you son, I am sorry” 


But it’s real life and not a movie, things don’t sort out in the real world like that, If I can say my feelings to them, I will be labeled as a spoiled and misbehaving child!!! So I did exactly , what I am good at, I went to their room and said “sorry, for letting you down”

The next day, dad just entered my room and said “Satyam it’s high time you should realize what harm you have done, and to rectify this mistake you have one chance, here’s the form of IIT coaching classes, fill it,

WORK HARD THIS TIME AND GET ADMISSION IN IIT”

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